HATE!!!

I totaly hate this type of life !!! still have 4 years,maybe after this i will love this type of life,but not for now..Still cannot accept everything at here,is stranger for me,must social with other,must learn everything by myself..the lecture wont teach u step by step ,the lecture wont wait u understand oni go for the next slide,if he cnt finish the slides,u the one need go back learn it by urself...i wondering why i pay so much money,still need me go back study by myself?!

Today mood really SUCK,the CT tutor ask me do again the journal,nw i totaly no idea to do the journal,HEADACHE NW! hvnt done the Che and Bio Tutorial ,hvnt do the correction for the phy report, hvnt do the revision for the Math.The math;s Exam is on thurs,i wondering where i can get the time to do the revision.... Yesterday ,bio test ad do many careless mistake and lose many marks,on that time really feel like wanna cry ,but still pretend nothing and can happily go eat dinner with them...

why im so stupid,why i cant understand what the phy lecture teaching about,i really dnt knw hw to sit for the phy test,pass up the blank answ sheet,izit?

忙碌的一周。。。。

这星期情绪一直不稳定，今天可以很开心，明天却可以伤心欲绝。。。奇怪吧！所以开心时不要太过开心，因为开心和伤心是情侣，有开心就有伤心。。。前天开始就生病到现在，从喉咙痛--》 发烧 --》 伤风--》 到现在咳嗽，快半死了。。却告诉·自己不可以休息，有太多的报告，功课还没做完，而且考试就在眼前了，该更努力才对，不要拿生病当借口。。

     
    幸好，昨天凌晨终于把全部报告写完了，结果病情却更加严重了，没药吃，也不去看医生。。。这几天妈妈一直打来，因为当她和我讲电话时就知道我病的很严重，她一直叫我回家看医生，但我还是没回到，我并不想让他们为担心，我也很努力照顾自己了。。有些东西该来的还是会来的。。一个月没回去了，那里一切都还好吗？
  
    心情低落时都会想说要放弃了，不想读了，明知这是很不责任的话却还是想这样说，压力真的很大。。3.5 CGPA我真的拿到吗？ 请你们不要对我有太大的希望。。我并不喜欢人家一直把我说得有多厉害，你们无形中已经给了我不少压力 。。。我也不想要做最强的那个，我也想有人可以在我不懂的时候教教我。。但当没人肯教你时，你唯有努力让自己变得更强大，不用接受任何人的帮忙。。。
  

明天会更好。。。

我真的越来越讨厌这样的生活，没有朋友，每天一个人吃饭。一个人一直忙碌的做功课，一个人去解决所面对的问题。。。此终还是一个人。。。曾经很潇洒的说，一个人也可以活得很好，也只不过是自欺欺人！又有谁知道，那副充满笑脸的背后，是付出多大的努力去坚强。。。。功课越来越多，越来越难，越来越不会做，考试越来越近，压力也越来越大。。很想放弃，但这是不可能的。。我不要那么懦弱！只能对自己说加油吧，这可能只是暂时的，明天会更好的！

在这的第一次。。

昨晚，终于在这里的宿舍哭了。。。没想到是过了三个星期我才哭，以我的性格根本不可能嘛。。。可能碍于有个人在吧，我想念我的侄儿和侄女，好久好久没见到他们了，之前回去都没见到，再加上这几个星期我都不会回去。。。希望家里一切安好。。也希望堂叔和·堂婶能继续努力对抗病毒。。你们会康复的！！！ 我也没机会去探望你们了。。我知道家族里的人，全都在为这件事操心，到处寻找神药，哪怕机会是那么的微小。。所以我已学会不哭·不闹了，不要再向你们抱怨那么多，努力地接受这一切。。我在这里很努力的去开心过每一天。。。：）

说真的我比较喜欢一个人住，就算是要和别人公私，我也希望我是已认识了她的，而且可以很合得来。。虽然和现在的室友还算合得来，但终觉得此终不能很好，隔着一道墙。。。不只室友，总觉得和这里认识的每一个人，都是这样相处着，甚至是森茵，敏仪还是谢霖都是一样。。四个字来形容“相敬如宾”，就都和客气。。。是时间的问题吗？我也想知道答案。。。现实是残酷的，往往没有我们幻想中的那么美好。。。我觉得自己蛮失败的，我可以记得到班上那么多人，可是记得我的又有几个呢，就算我就站在他们前面。。。 ：（

请带着好心情过着这里的每一天。。。

Second week of My UNI life...

Well,finally UTAR become my choice,n oso can say is force to choose this choice...Anywhere this ad became the fact ad juz except it..ok?
Long time dint write blog ad,izit busy??? maybe,but i think the lazy is the main factor..haha.i knw im a lazy girl><
Nw i ad change my blog to can view by anyone ,n oso can say this nt more is my secret place ad...haha
Yesterday ,im so high n happy,,,cuz my best fren,wayne is came kampar had a dinner with me...woo~hehe still gt another reason that cnt tell out..i scare one day ,he will c it...But 2day whole day no mood to study!!! Sigh,izit is the PRESSURE problem again,i think so...especially after the BIO pratice class,Mr HO,straight ask us do the 6 experiment for the practical 1,ya ,that time was shock awhile...n the end of class,still gt something that really really shocked me...that is BIO FULL REPORT..I hate it totaly!!!
Today i learnt the most important thing inside UNI that is "INDENPENDENT"..ya,everything u oso need to do n knw by urself,no teacher guide u anymore like secondary school anymore,at here the lecture wont tell u step-by step,,everything is up to u ,u muz go find it out/search it out the information  n do it out...well..really hate n cant adapt with this type of study life..I hate ppl give me pressure.o maybe is myself too stress ad,wan make everything perfect..scare this n that.
Ya, the Target is the thing i most worry abt ..3.50 CGPA.izit possible i to get it...erm ,i knw ,nthng is impossible,the problem is myself oni..keep finding excuses for myself, keep blaming other ppl, keep nt satisfy will all the thing that surround me ,keep complain this n that ,n i knw im annyoning u all...ya,im that type of person..
I really hate the life in here,i feel that i choose wrong course ,i feel i cnt study well in this course,cuz very tough..other problem for me is,hvnt try n do,jau give up ad..i dnt knw hw to overcome all this bad habit..><
i give myself too much of pressure,wan do everything prefectly,but at the end do nothing at all..
Ya,i knw nw i cnt say regret ad..i muz think hw to overcome all this problem,nt keep saying myself ad do wrg choice ,hope can change course or other..the choice ad make,n start the journey ad,althought hw tired n dislike oso need walk until the end....